Thursday, January 9, 2014

Interview with a Dinka about the affection of their wives. Uncut.

"The conversation was about the affection of the two wives you have in ghost marriage and your real marriage. So the affection is not the same like for the ghost marriage, the husband can love his real wife more then with the ghost wife. So, when you provide them with other things like goats, cows… the son will say that you are not my father this things are ours yet you are the one who provide them. Then that thing can cause quarrel among the family. So the affection is not the same. But your real wife can listen to you because she knew these things are for us all. It is for my husband and it is for me also and if the man made the decision as head of the house she could listen to you and you can do your thing with freedom. So that is how the problem comes. So ghost marriage has problems among the community there is a misunderstand among the families
So when this girl, this daughter of the ghost gets married and the cows come into the family, her sons will take them and I will be getting a little congregation  with my wife. Even the whole clan will come and say this is not your daughter is for our brother.
The ghost marriage is a good thing for them to do that because it was something traditional. It was started long, long time ago and they have seen it been done and they have no objection of that.  They are happy for that. But they have no choice, because girls are a source of wealth. The only thing the man can do is you come to the parents and you introduce your marriage as a ghost marriage. If you have given them enough cows the girl has no say. She has to come for that marriage because they have no freedom and most of the marriage is forced marriage. Even if the girl does not love you, they have to force her."